Thank you to the junior Senator from Minnesota, Al Franken, for the idea and some content.
No American, regardless of their politics, hates America; we all love America the same amount. We just love America in different ways.
Conservatives love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. The scramble to defend mommy by shouting down those who criticize her creates noise that obscures or hides the real issues that mommy needs to deal with.
Liberals love America like grown-ups who assume their relationship always has problems that need working on. It’s an overworked and tiring road to take, with an OCD focus on the list of things that need doing, rather than doing the things themselves. A lot of time is spent on defining the issues, but no real progress ever gets made.
I’ve found that most people in this country are just like me in that they fit under the “meaty” portion of the bell curve. This is not to say that our politics are all the same, but it does means that we take the issues one at a time, and don’t necessarily follow a party line. We’re pragmatists who realize that sometimes the best solution to a problem is a conservative approach; other times a liberal one. It really is okay to be pro-choice and pro-death penalty.
We pragmatists are often called “middle of the roaders who have no moral compass.” However, what we really believe is that neither major party is serving the vast majority of folks in this country. What we want is the best solution to individual problems, and to not have party line noise masking solutions.
I have family members who are all over the spectrum politically, and I really miss the days when we could talk in a civil manner, search for common ground, and agree to disagree on the other stuff. Al Franken said that his grandfather taught him that reasonable people can disagree.
Sit down some day without Fox or MSNBC on in the background and make a prioritized list of what is important to you. Ask a friend with opposing politics to do the same. Compare notes later and I bet you’ll find that the top five or six items are exactly the same.
So at the end of day, my only questions are:
Why do we let the pundit morons on TV focus on the stuff way down on the list?
And, why can't we discuss politics without questioning the motives and intelligence of the other side?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Lost Fathers
Thank you to an unknown editorial author from the New York Times. His story inspired me to take time to write my own, borrowing heavily from his content. I hope this inspires others to create their own story.
There are many old color photographs, faded from years of storage, of my sons and me. Many are with my oldest son swimming in an overseas lake or swimming pool, or sitting on the sofa both playing guitar. Permanently captured on paper, these photos capture a happier time, and remind me of all that I missed in both their lives.
There are no guidebooks on how to reenter a son’s life. There is no Web site that will tell a father what to expect or how to act when he and his sons begin to spend time together again after many years of no involvement. How do you greet each other? How do you tell them that it’s not their fault? And, can a father assuage himself of a mountain of guilt by becoming involved in his sons’ lives after the hard work of raising them well is already done? These are issues a previously absent father must tread around carefully.
There are millions of absent fathers; there are at least that many children out there who are wondering who their fathers are. Barack Obama recalled in “Dreams From My Father” that when he was small, his father just vanished. “It was into my father’s image…that I’d packed all the attributes I sought in myself,” he wrote. When Mr. Obama was told that his father had died, he said, “I felt no pain, only the vague sense of an opportunity lost.”
My sons were not going to miss his opportunity. But would they want to know why I didn’t or couldn’t stay with their mother and in their lives? I would expect such a question, but knew I would have trouble answering, or maybe not be able to answer at all.
I was from a dysfunctional family, first-born of six to a Philadelphia Jew, and a southern girl whose biggest childhood challenge was keeping her abusive father out of her pants. Both suffered from massive self-esteem problems that compelled them to compete with their children rather than insure the kids all reached higher levels than they had.
Their children’s attempts at success were subconsciously but systematically sabotaged, leaving the children frustrated and confused; an environment that did not groom the sons to know much about the obligations of a dad. As Mr. Obama has said, fathers often “abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men.”
My sons need to know that it was not their mother and it was not them, I just had no sense of responsibility at that early age. I just dropped out and ran away. For that I am truly sorry, and I understand any anger or resentment they may harbor.
My sons have never asked why, but I would rather have it out in the open. Maturity, years of experience and acceptance of personal responsibility have left me no reason to lie, and no reason to hold back. I want them to judge me. Their condemnation could free me; their forgiveness might allow me to try to become the father I never was.
It is too late to pick up where my sons and I left off so many years ago and I certainly won’t make the mistake of trying to act like a traditional dad. But I like the idea that we are friends, and that one day we may feel the love we had for each other when they were little boys.
It looks as if my boys turned out O.K. The credit for that goes to their mom.
The oldest is a doctor married to a doctor, and they have two awesome children; one girl, one boy. The youngest has two beautiful daughters, a wonderful wife, and is very much like me; always questioning authority, and always believing that he can prove the exception rather than the rule.
I thank God for both of them every day.
There are many old color photographs, faded from years of storage, of my sons and me. Many are with my oldest son swimming in an overseas lake or swimming pool, or sitting on the sofa both playing guitar. Permanently captured on paper, these photos capture a happier time, and remind me of all that I missed in both their lives.
There are no guidebooks on how to reenter a son’s life. There is no Web site that will tell a father what to expect or how to act when he and his sons begin to spend time together again after many years of no involvement. How do you greet each other? How do you tell them that it’s not their fault? And, can a father assuage himself of a mountain of guilt by becoming involved in his sons’ lives after the hard work of raising them well is already done? These are issues a previously absent father must tread around carefully.
There are millions of absent fathers; there are at least that many children out there who are wondering who their fathers are. Barack Obama recalled in “Dreams From My Father” that when he was small, his father just vanished. “It was into my father’s image…that I’d packed all the attributes I sought in myself,” he wrote. When Mr. Obama was told that his father had died, he said, “I felt no pain, only the vague sense of an opportunity lost.”
My sons were not going to miss his opportunity. But would they want to know why I didn’t or couldn’t stay with their mother and in their lives? I would expect such a question, but knew I would have trouble answering, or maybe not be able to answer at all.
I was from a dysfunctional family, first-born of six to a Philadelphia Jew, and a southern girl whose biggest childhood challenge was keeping her abusive father out of her pants. Both suffered from massive self-esteem problems that compelled them to compete with their children rather than insure the kids all reached higher levels than they had.
Their children’s attempts at success were subconsciously but systematically sabotaged, leaving the children frustrated and confused; an environment that did not groom the sons to know much about the obligations of a dad. As Mr. Obama has said, fathers often “abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men.”
My sons need to know that it was not their mother and it was not them, I just had no sense of responsibility at that early age. I just dropped out and ran away. For that I am truly sorry, and I understand any anger or resentment they may harbor.
My sons have never asked why, but I would rather have it out in the open. Maturity, years of experience and acceptance of personal responsibility have left me no reason to lie, and no reason to hold back. I want them to judge me. Their condemnation could free me; their forgiveness might allow me to try to become the father I never was.
It is too late to pick up where my sons and I left off so many years ago and I certainly won’t make the mistake of trying to act like a traditional dad. But I like the idea that we are friends, and that one day we may feel the love we had for each other when they were little boys.
It looks as if my boys turned out O.K. The credit for that goes to their mom.
The oldest is a doctor married to a doctor, and they have two awesome children; one girl, one boy. The youngest has two beautiful daughters, a wonderful wife, and is very much like me; always questioning authority, and always believing that he can prove the exception rather than the rule.
I thank God for both of them every day.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Michael Vick
Thanks for content contributions from David Wayne (my brother) and Mark Robertson (a golfing buddy of David’s). The bulk of this is from a couple of their shared e-mails. My inserted responses are in italics.
For the love of Pete, could somebody please help me with why all the fuss over Michael Vick?
I mean seriously, besides from his recent return from jail time, what has he done on the football field? I recognize athletic talent more so than the average guy, and Vick is, at best, an average NFL quarterback with a ton of physical talent.
Most savvy sports people agree that he is a gifted, but “an out of position player” when it comes to the quarterback position (much like Vince Young, but that's another story for another day).
Why the fuss about Vick’s return to the NFL? And no, it is not about him being black and a thug (this time). It’s about whether Michael Vick is a solid NFL quarterback.
Why would he go to the Philadelphia Eagles when they have a proven and quality man (Donovan McNabb) for the job? This man also happens to be an African-American who is a classy, educated, family guy.
Donovan McNabb is an excellent NFL quarterback who has kept the Eagles very close to the Super Bowl for several years now. He has become injury prone as his career has worn on. He entered the league in 1999 and had a solid three-year run, but in the seven seasons since then, McNabb has missed at least 22 starts. The Eagles wanted a solid backup, and McNabb was one of the first people asked to approve the Vick acquisition.
We have seen some quality black players at the quarterback position in the NFL in the past twenty years: Doug Williams, Warren Moon, Steve McNair, and Donovan McNabb. I am sure we missed some others. So does Vick really deserve all the media attention and hype?
Michael Vick is not receiving attention and hype because he is an awesome NFL quarterback. He went to prison, and the media is awestruck that a black man can go to prison, pay the debt to society that the justice system demands of him, and then have a “normal” life after the debt is paid. The media’s job is to ignite a fire storm of controversy that will sell advertising and get people talking. Of course, the PETA people want Vick to have a minimum wage job the remainder of his life that will keep him, a black ex-con, in poverty and desperation forever (so much for elitist liberalism).
Vick did not overcome a serious injury or spend two years fighting in Iraq. His story is definitely news worthy though.
You have animal rights advocates (who are down right nasty and wish he'd gotten the death penalty) on one side, and on the other, extreme Philly football fans intrigued by his 4.3 speed and strong arm and most could care less about his treatment of dogs if he helps them contend for a Super Bowl.
He does give hope to all the African-American men who have gone to prison or jail (about one out of every 5). It’s important to know that a guy can go from being a multi-millionaire to a jailbird and then rebound to a life where he can use the skills he’s acquired in life.
If you do something wrong, there is a price to pay. Once you pay the price, you have to live with the stigma for the rest of your life. That should be enough. Let's not forget that Vick is also $20 million in debt. In a country that believes in second chances and roots for the underdog (no pun intended), you would think some would celebrate Michael Vick's return to the NFL. I'm just sayin'...
For the love of Pete, could somebody please help me with why all the fuss over Michael Vick?
I mean seriously, besides from his recent return from jail time, what has he done on the football field? I recognize athletic talent more so than the average guy, and Vick is, at best, an average NFL quarterback with a ton of physical talent.
Most savvy sports people agree that he is a gifted, but “an out of position player” when it comes to the quarterback position (much like Vince Young, but that's another story for another day).
Why the fuss about Vick’s return to the NFL? And no, it is not about him being black and a thug (this time). It’s about whether Michael Vick is a solid NFL quarterback.
Why would he go to the Philadelphia Eagles when they have a proven and quality man (Donovan McNabb) for the job? This man also happens to be an African-American who is a classy, educated, family guy.
Donovan McNabb is an excellent NFL quarterback who has kept the Eagles very close to the Super Bowl for several years now. He has become injury prone as his career has worn on. He entered the league in 1999 and had a solid three-year run, but in the seven seasons since then, McNabb has missed at least 22 starts. The Eagles wanted a solid backup, and McNabb was one of the first people asked to approve the Vick acquisition.
We have seen some quality black players at the quarterback position in the NFL in the past twenty years: Doug Williams, Warren Moon, Steve McNair, and Donovan McNabb. I am sure we missed some others. So does Vick really deserve all the media attention and hype?
Michael Vick is not receiving attention and hype because he is an awesome NFL quarterback. He went to prison, and the media is awestruck that a black man can go to prison, pay the debt to society that the justice system demands of him, and then have a “normal” life after the debt is paid. The media’s job is to ignite a fire storm of controversy that will sell advertising and get people talking. Of course, the PETA people want Vick to have a minimum wage job the remainder of his life that will keep him, a black ex-con, in poverty and desperation forever (so much for elitist liberalism).
Vick did not overcome a serious injury or spend two years fighting in Iraq. His story is definitely news worthy though.
You have animal rights advocates (who are down right nasty and wish he'd gotten the death penalty) on one side, and on the other, extreme Philly football fans intrigued by his 4.3 speed and strong arm and most could care less about his treatment of dogs if he helps them contend for a Super Bowl.
He does give hope to all the African-American men who have gone to prison or jail (about one out of every 5). It’s important to know that a guy can go from being a multi-millionaire to a jailbird and then rebound to a life where he can use the skills he’s acquired in life.
If you do something wrong, there is a price to pay. Once you pay the price, you have to live with the stigma for the rest of your life. That should be enough. Let's not forget that Vick is also $20 million in debt. In a country that believes in second chances and roots for the underdog (no pun intended), you would think some would celebrate Michael Vick's return to the NFL. I'm just sayin'...
Friday, August 28, 2009
Congress & Sports
I am continually amazed by the obtuse activities of our government, especially during an election year. Now they want to fix professional sports.
Congress first got involved in the baseball steroid issue with hearings in March 2005, after Jose Canseco’s book Juiced hit bookshelves. Then they got crazy trying to determine Roger Clemens’ involvement.
Even with all that going on, the New York Times (Feb 15, 2007) is also reporting that Senator Arlen Specter is “more determined” for the senate to look into the cheating allegations in the NFL regarding secret videotaping of football practices.
Am I the only person in the country who just doesn’t get it?
The sports media, whose job it is to sell newspapers, magazines, and ad time on radio and television, have tried repeatedly to get the public involved in the steroid controversy. Every few months or so over the last three years, a new story “breaks” about someone’s alleged use of steroids. Books are written, interviews are conducted, and aggressive investigations are promised. Mike Lupica alone is a one-man publishing company.
But for all their efforts, the media alone just can’t seem to get the American public involved.
Well then; let’s get congress involved. Surely once congress steps in the American public will become interested, and the groundswell of moral indignation that gives meteoric rise to professional careers will be forthcoming. Nope; not so much.
Federal prosecutors are foaming at the mouth for a chance to prosecute athletes who perjure themselves before congress, when the athletes shouldn’t have been testifying before congress in the first place. And the prosecutors get to use the television face time to build support for federal judicial appointments later on in their careers. Nifty.
Hey, here’s a news flash for you; we don’t care. Really. Keith J. Kelly recently reported in the New York Post (Dec 19, 2007) that the hottest names in the baseball steroid controversy (Canseco, Kirk Radomski, Brian McNamee) are all having major difficulty selling their stories to book publishers.
We watch sports to be entertained. That’s it. Regardless of how loud Ryan and Lupica yell at each other on the Sports Reporters, regardless of how many well-written books Lance Williams or John Feinstein publish, and regardless of how loud or long Congressman Henry Waxman bangs his gavel.
We want our team to be bigger, stronger, and faster than the other team. If some of the members of our team make personal choices to use substances to achieve the size, strength, or speed, who cares? I’m sure losing fifty or so pounds for his role of Doc Holliday in Wyatt Earp wasn’t the healthiest thing Dennis Quaid ever did. But it made the role believable, and we applauded Quaid’s commitment to his craft. Where was Henry Waxman then?
The big four sports are making billions of dollars under the status quo, and this amounts to tacit approval of steroid use. If they really wanted steroid and drug use out of professional sports, then every professional athlete in every league would be tested at least once a week, all year long, and first-time violators would be forever banned from the league.
The truth is, management of the “big four” sports leagues and their associated players unions are very happy the way things are. One of the few things the leagues and unions agree on is that they must display some sort of effort against steroids and other illegal substances to keep the wolf from their doors. Random testing seems to do that. But, I fear I digress.
Congress has no business in professional sports when it comes to the issues of steroids and videotaping of practices. If the sale, use, or distribution of steroids or other illegal substances is suspected, then the appropriate local law enforcement officials should step forward to deal with the issue, and treat athletes like the rest of us “regular” folks. And unless the persons who videotaped football team practices or sideline signals (both against league rules) broke some kind of trespassing laws, this should be handled internally by NFL management.
We have so many serious, pertinent issues for our elected officials to deal with other than professional sports. I could list them all here, but this is not a political argument, and I am hoping for a bi-partisan “Amen” at the end.
I love sports; always have. I played them all both organized and sandlot into my late thirties, and if my current job didn’t require travel, I’d play in a couple of slow-pitch leagues. I’ve had my heart broken by the Texas Rangers and Jerry Jones so many times, I’ve lost count; so don’t question my fanhood.
I’m writing my representative and senators to let them know that I fully support their positions that performance enhancing drug use in professional sports is a serious issue. Actually, possession and use of any controlled or illegal substance is a serious issue.
But their argument ends there, because I am not concerned with the trickle-down effect to high school, collegiate, and other amateur athletes because of the “role model” position of professional athletes. To base laws and national policy on what young adults think of professional athletes is ludicrous and only continues to support parents that are uncaring, uninvolved, and uninformed. It treats the symptoms, not the problem, but it makes for good sound bites, which is important for reelection.
My main goal in writing my representative and senators is to remind them that I did not send them to Washington to deal with problems in professional sports. They are too many other serious things I want them working on.
Congress first got involved in the baseball steroid issue with hearings in March 2005, after Jose Canseco’s book Juiced hit bookshelves. Then they got crazy trying to determine Roger Clemens’ involvement.
Even with all that going on, the New York Times (Feb 15, 2007) is also reporting that Senator Arlen Specter is “more determined” for the senate to look into the cheating allegations in the NFL regarding secret videotaping of football practices.
Am I the only person in the country who just doesn’t get it?
The sports media, whose job it is to sell newspapers, magazines, and ad time on radio and television, have tried repeatedly to get the public involved in the steroid controversy. Every few months or so over the last three years, a new story “breaks” about someone’s alleged use of steroids. Books are written, interviews are conducted, and aggressive investigations are promised. Mike Lupica alone is a one-man publishing company.
But for all their efforts, the media alone just can’t seem to get the American public involved.
Well then; let’s get congress involved. Surely once congress steps in the American public will become interested, and the groundswell of moral indignation that gives meteoric rise to professional careers will be forthcoming. Nope; not so much.
Federal prosecutors are foaming at the mouth for a chance to prosecute athletes who perjure themselves before congress, when the athletes shouldn’t have been testifying before congress in the first place. And the prosecutors get to use the television face time to build support for federal judicial appointments later on in their careers. Nifty.
Hey, here’s a news flash for you; we don’t care. Really. Keith J. Kelly recently reported in the New York Post (Dec 19, 2007) that the hottest names in the baseball steroid controversy (Canseco, Kirk Radomski, Brian McNamee) are all having major difficulty selling their stories to book publishers.
We watch sports to be entertained. That’s it. Regardless of how loud Ryan and Lupica yell at each other on the Sports Reporters, regardless of how many well-written books Lance Williams or John Feinstein publish, and regardless of how loud or long Congressman Henry Waxman bangs his gavel.
We want our team to be bigger, stronger, and faster than the other team. If some of the members of our team make personal choices to use substances to achieve the size, strength, or speed, who cares? I’m sure losing fifty or so pounds for his role of Doc Holliday in Wyatt Earp wasn’t the healthiest thing Dennis Quaid ever did. But it made the role believable, and we applauded Quaid’s commitment to his craft. Where was Henry Waxman then?
The big four sports are making billions of dollars under the status quo, and this amounts to tacit approval of steroid use. If they really wanted steroid and drug use out of professional sports, then every professional athlete in every league would be tested at least once a week, all year long, and first-time violators would be forever banned from the league.
The truth is, management of the “big four” sports leagues and their associated players unions are very happy the way things are. One of the few things the leagues and unions agree on is that they must display some sort of effort against steroids and other illegal substances to keep the wolf from their doors. Random testing seems to do that. But, I fear I digress.
Congress has no business in professional sports when it comes to the issues of steroids and videotaping of practices. If the sale, use, or distribution of steroids or other illegal substances is suspected, then the appropriate local law enforcement officials should step forward to deal with the issue, and treat athletes like the rest of us “regular” folks. And unless the persons who videotaped football team practices or sideline signals (both against league rules) broke some kind of trespassing laws, this should be handled internally by NFL management.
We have so many serious, pertinent issues for our elected officials to deal with other than professional sports. I could list them all here, but this is not a political argument, and I am hoping for a bi-partisan “Amen” at the end.
I love sports; always have. I played them all both organized and sandlot into my late thirties, and if my current job didn’t require travel, I’d play in a couple of slow-pitch leagues. I’ve had my heart broken by the Texas Rangers and Jerry Jones so many times, I’ve lost count; so don’t question my fanhood.
I’m writing my representative and senators to let them know that I fully support their positions that performance enhancing drug use in professional sports is a serious issue. Actually, possession and use of any controlled or illegal substance is a serious issue.
But their argument ends there, because I am not concerned with the trickle-down effect to high school, collegiate, and other amateur athletes because of the “role model” position of professional athletes. To base laws and national policy on what young adults think of professional athletes is ludicrous and only continues to support parents that are uncaring, uninvolved, and uninformed. It treats the symptoms, not the problem, but it makes for good sound bites, which is important for reelection.
My main goal in writing my representative and senators is to remind them that I did not send them to Washington to deal with problems in professional sports. They are too many other serious things I want them working on.
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